A Forgotten Dream
by Cassandra Phoenix
Summary: Butters has been head over heels in love with the same person for the past few years. But when he was turned down, and hurt he moved on, trying to forget all about...Kenny. Full summary inside! COMPANION FIC TO "A GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY"
1. Prologue

**Author:** Cassandra Phoenix

**Rating:** M for language and sexual humor/situations.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own South Park or it's characters, they belong to Matt && Trey.

**Pairings:** Marjorine/Kenny/Butters. 

**Summary:** Butters has been head over heels in love with the same person for the past few years. But when he was turned down, and hurt he moved on, trying to forget all about...Kenny. So what will our silly little Butters do when the playboy begins to pull at his heart strings once again and he is thrown at the chance to live a forgotten dream.

**Note:** Say hello to "A Golden Opportunity's" companion fic, "A Forgotten Dream."

What this is, really, is just Butters view of everything that goes on. I wasn't going to write it but then I kept thinking, ya know, what is Butters feeling about all of this? With Kenny's story, "A Golden Opportunity"being the main story I will be posting "A Forgotten Dream" about a chapter behind, so you can read Kenny's story first. **IF YOU DON'T READ "A GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY" FIRST YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND A LOT OF THE STORY.** Since the first three chapters of "A Golden Opportunity" has been posted...I guess I'll go ahead and post the prologue and first chapter before I post the next chapter of "A Golden Opportunity."

Now, since Butters is dying to be heard, I give you his story...

**--x--**

**Prologue**

**--x--**

It all started with that stupid fortune telling device, we know now it was nothing but a toy, but back then it was...everything. It became my everything. If it wasn't for that stupid toy I never would have noticed him.

It was that day in 4th grade, when I first noticed.

He had that silly parka on like he always did, closed up so tight, only his dark eyes shown through. A little tuft of his golden blond hair sticking out from under his hood. His eyes followed me as I slowly made my way up to the front of the class. To be honest, I was nervous, I thought that the girls would figure me out, then eat me alive or something. Not to mention that when that was all over I was going to be grounded for a looooong time. But, I know now, like I knew then that all the butterflies in my tummy were not from anything but from the simple fact that his eyes were following me.

Kenny.

Ha, I'm not sure if I'll ever figure him out. He had sent me so many mixed messages over the years. For example, I remember during lunch that day I was confused on where to sit. On one hand I was a guy and guys sit at the guys table. Then on the other I was dressed as a girl, pretending to be a girl, see my dilemma? So I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask for help.

I don't know why I picked Kenny maybe because he was the closest boy to me, or maybe I really did like him back then. Who knows.

Grabbing him by the arm I quietly asked, "Ke-Kenny, wh-where should I s-sit?"

His answer was harsh and when he clenched his fists letting his head fall forward, I dropped my hand. Keeping my eyes on the ground I walked away, embarrassed, and rubbing my arm. Being an undercover spy was a lot harder than it looked.

Why did I let Eric talk me into those kind of things. No matter what it was he always seemed to lure me into his stupid ideas. But in a way I guess I should thank him because that night at the slumber party I found myself I guess you could say.

Yeah, maybe the first hour of the party went terribly wrong; but being with the girls, dancing, dressing up, they really made me face my insecurities. I felt more alive dancing to Justin Timberlake and getting make-overs than I ever did playing ninjas or being Professor Chaos.

I just _fit_ in with the girls.

I truly felt bad for betraying the girls and stealing their toy. We had a lot of fun that night. Luckily, Heidi forgave me and became my friend despite everything that had happened. Wendy followed soon after; but she has always been friends with everyone. Pretty soon when the girls would get together for a movie night or nail painting they would invite me along. We'd talk about movie stars and our dreams...

It was 7th grade that I finally figured out what that "fitting in with the girls" really meant.

Sure, I had always been a bit sensitive and rather play Hello Kitty Adventure Island than dodge ball. And maybe I found myself constantly thinking about Kenny, but that didn't mean I was...gay.

I pulled away from the girls for a few weeks, thinking I was having these thoughts from spending too much time with them. But the feelings just kept on coming. And with Kenny's eyes always on me, it was hard to ignore the thoughts.

Who knows if he realized he was doing it or not, but I did. If I walked behind his weekly girl, his eyes would follow me. When he would come to J-mart, he wouldn't come to my register, but would watch me as another rang up his items. With all of this information, I came to the only conclusion I could.

I liked, really liked Kenny...

And...Kenny liked me?

It took a full year to work up the courage before I could really come out. When I did, I figured what the hell. I was going to come out to everyone. Why not reveal my long time crush as well?

The girls weren't surprised, a bit hurt that I didn't tell them sooner. Most of the school didn't care one way or the other. And my feelings, well, they were not returned. Kenny looked panicky at first, eyes darting around the hall, avoiding mine. His back was stiff and his entire face went pale as the blood drained from it. To say the least, it wasn't the response I had imagined.

Kenny was firm in telling me he was straight. It hurt yes, and I fell asleep sobbing into Wendy's pillow. I spent the night there with Heidi.

The next day a "Bebe tornado" hit the ears of every student in South Park Middle.

Red had lost her virginity to Kenny the night before.

When the story had made its way to me, I lost it. Running into the boys bathroom and collapsed on the floor, crying. I think it was about an hour or so before I forced myself up to at least sit on the toilet seat. It wasn't that much longer, Kenny came in.

The bathroom door opened, I leaned down to see who was there but stopped short after seeing the oh-so familiar orange converse. I didn't stop crying, in fact with the thought of him right there on the other side of the stall door, made the tears come faster and harder.

I heard him lean back against the wall with a soft smack then slid down to the floor. I don't know why he stayed, the more I thought about him there the more depressed I became. He stayed there for what seemed forever. Why was he staying in there? Did he feel guilty? Why stay in the same room while the person who's heart _he_ broke, cried his eyes out. I almost felt as if he regretted being with Red the night before.

Maybe I was wrong in thinking he didn't care about me, if there was some chance that he really did...

When the stall door swung open, the bathroom door slammed shut and he was gone.

I don't think he knows I know he was there, and I don't plan on telling him, ever.

Bebe found me after school. The news had obviously spread that I had stayed in the boys bathroom the entire day. I had just stepped into the hallway when she called my name. She tried to apologize, blaming herself, but I wouldn't let her. She forced on a smile and told me "I looked like a mess."

Her bluntness... is amazing. My eyes were blood shot, hair sticking up everywhere, and to top it off, dried tear stains all down my face.

Her attempts to cheer me up turned to a sleep over at her house, a ritual we would soon repeat at least once every two weeks, where she would give me one of her famous make overs again. In fact it was her idea for me to grow out my hair this summer. I usually spent the weekend at her house, sharing and doing everything together.

It wasn't long before me and Bebe became best friends.

I felt it would be best if I didn't see him at all, so I started hanging out with Craig, Clyde, Token and Tweek. After a while I pushed myself move past Kenny and on to my first boyfriend, Jason. He was only bi, so it wasn't long before he wanted to go after a girl. Actually, it was about 2 months.

Surprisingly, I wasn't that hurt, it was a good experience for me I think. To find out what it was like to actually date someone and a guy at that. Besides that I hadn't really dated much, sure I'd go on dates but as far as "official" boyfriends go I only had 3.

**--x--**

EVERYTHING was going fine. School had started, Bebe had gotten a car so we could drive up to Denver, go to the spa, and shop. And, I had _just_ lost my virginity this year, during the 4th of July fireworks show. Best of all I had managed to almost completely avoid Kenny, and the longer I was away from him, either in school or in my mind, the better. But there were still stares, like I wouldn't notice him stalking me with his eyes. Ha! I just ignored it, what did I care what that-that human puzzle thought?

I Didn't.

Junior year began with a weird start...

Stan, the star quarterback...not at school.

Kyle, the boy genius...not at school.

Eric, the walking insult machine...not at school.

And then there was Kenny, the infamous playboy...not at school.

Sure, it wasn't as if they never disappeared, off to Peru, Canada, and who knows where else. It's just that, they had never missed the first day of school, not sure why, but they just didn't. When a month had passed the guys finally arrived, well most of them anyways.

Now, I admit, that when the rest of the "Bomb Squad" returned with no Kenny I was a bit...concerned. But only in a peer to peer way, to be honest I hadn't thought of Kenny the other way since what had happened in 8th grade. Well, that and in ninth when they earned their nickname, when their shirts came off I had to run to the bathroom. I really didn't like to think about that day though, with all that hip thrusting.

Oh god.

It was about a week later when Kenny was rumored to be returning to school....

**--**

Like I've said before, I hate beginnings. They are a pain to write. I'll post the next chapter soooooon I promise!!!

Cassandra Phoenix


	2. Chapter 1

**Note:** **Major** thanks to **Veluxious**,**PuffleKiss**,** InnerSakura101**,** Harlequin ****Girl** and **FXL **for reviewing!!!

So I'm hoping that in this chapter I was able to show you how a like Butters and Kenny are, and how they differ. Butters will be a little different, he's still the sweet, little boy we've all come to love. But think about it, he's a teenager in high school...

Also...I'm sorry it took so long to post this chapter, school has been crazy! I've been working on a 300 page novel, due at the end of the school year... so yeah. Don't worry though I'm starting to get ahead of our writing schedule so I should have more time to work on "A Golden Opportunity," and "A Forgotten Dream."

I'll be posting "A Golden Opportunity's" next chapter and then come back and post the next chapter here...it will go in that order. The next chapter of AGO followed by the next chapter of AFD, that way it stays one chapter behind like I planned.

And, **another thanks** to everyone who favored "A Forgotten Dream" and added it to their story watch list. I feel so loved haha.

So please continue to review people!

**--x--**

Bebe had wanted to go to school alone today. According to her sources from the night before, the heart throb Token Black would be back on the market today.

This left me to find an alternate way to school.

Tweek.

Nope...Craig had full claim of him lately, there was no way I could grab a ride.

Clyde?

Busy, he was gonna skip first, second, and probably third. Something about a project that was due.

Token...no.

Bebe was on the hunt for him, it would be stupid to ask.

So that ultimately left me with one option, walking.

Oh yes, today was gonna be a _great_ day, I thought to myself sarcastically.

Luckily, it was only mid September, meaning it wasn't as cold as it could have been. In fact it was rather nice walking around in the cool morning air. That is, until I checked my cell.

7:50 a.m.

_Great_...that meant I had ten minutes to finish a twenty minute walk.

Pocketing my cell, I started to run.

I stumbled into the double doors at the entrance of the South Park High, a couple of students still wandering the halls.

Finally some luck, that meant I was on time.

Still panting, I headed for my locker. Faded blue paint, just a few dents here and there, it was pretty nice. In fact the entire school was pretty nice, old yeah, but I liked it, it had...personality.

Inside my locker I kept a mirror, two bottles of water, a brush and a granola bar. Along with my various books for class and things like that.

I took a swing of water to cool me off, and grabbed my brush. Hoping to tame the wind blown mess that was my hair.

After fixing my hair and adjusting my outfit, grabbed my notebook and shut my locker.

Time for school...

"Don't start with me Jew!"

I could hear their voices two doors down as I made my way to class. Wendy had confided in me that she planned on breaking up with Cartman...again.

Obviously, she had.

"Jesus Christ! Look, if you had just listened to me this morning, instead of acting like a dick."

I stepped into the classroom.

"Shut the hell up Stan you don-"

I'm not sure why Eric stopped mid sentence and was staring at me, but I didn't really care. What I was curious about was the orange clad guy, slumped down in his seat, next to him.

Kenny.

He turned slowly following Eric's gaze, his deep sapphire eyes met mine and I took in a sharp breath.

His hair was shaggy and had the perfect "I just rolled out of bed" look. His left ear lobe was decorated with a delicate green stud. He wore the same orange hoodie that he always did, with it's frayed white strings. Light blue jeans with holes in the knees, and a newish pair of white adidas with orange trim.

His face was flustered, lips parted and eyes on my legs.

I could start to feel the blood rushing to my cheeks, wanting to cover myself.

No, I needed to stay calm, it's not like I cared what Kenny did. It's a free country isn't it? He could stare at whoever he wanted.

Bebe called out to me, "Butters!"

Kenny looked up after a moment, catching my gaze.

Dammit.

I quickly adverted my eyes and headed for the empty desk between her and Cartman.

She excitedly waved me over, pulling down the collar of her shirt to show me the newly placed hickey on her neck. She worked fast. Bebe leaned in as I sat down, no doubt whispering to me the juicy details of her morning.

But I didn't hear anything she said, too caught up in my own thoughts.

Being up there, in front of the class with him staring at me like that. It felt a little_ too_ familiar.

"Butters, are you listening?" I looked up.

"Huh? Oh, sorry Bebe."

I felt my cheeks start to heat up again from being caught.

I honestly tried my hardest to pay attention to what Bebe was saying this time.

I just...couldn't. Too lost in my own thoughts.

Sighing, I thought back to the last time I had been stared at like that.

Was the night of the Forth of July party...

The night I spent with...

"Mr. McCormick!"

The entire class turned towards him as one.

Let him see how it feels to have someone practically burn holes into you.

"Mr. McCormick could you please make the effort to try and pay attention in my class."

Hushed laughter broke out around the class. Kenny sat up, his face red.

Mr. Hartford watched him for a few more moments before returning to his lecture about rhetorical devices.

With my notes on rhetorical devices pretty much done, I started to doodle on my paper.

I felt myself starting to pout. It was a sure way to get me in trouble if my parents ever saw me making that face, but I couldn't help it. After all these years and now he finally takes an interest in me?

Ha.

I don't think so.

No, he can look all he wants that's what Kenny does, and I don't care. I don't need...no I don't want him anymore.

With new found courage I looked up to, surprise, find Kenny staring right at me. I'm not sure how or why I did it. But, I felt my mouth forming a grin at my _former_ crush.

Hadn't I just decided that I didn't care about him anymore?

Though, I had to admit the summer sun had brought amazing changes to him. And his eyes, they seemed to just ooze radiance.

What?

I didn't just think that did I?

No.

Then why didn't I look away. It wasn't as if I _couldn't _look away, I just didn't.

It wasn't long before I saw the pencil out of the corner of my eye. And when it hit Kenny I almost burst out laughing.

He looked stunned for a second before he shook it off and hunted around for the pencil.

"_Butters!_" Bebe whispered.

Ooops.

I turned back to her to come face to face with the look.

Bebe had her eyes narrowed at me, "What do you think you're doing Butters? What would _he_ think?"

Bitting down on my lip, I looked down.

I knew full well who Bebe was talking about, and she was right.

She set her hand on my shoulder, I glanced back up at her. Bebe was smiling.

"Listen don't worry about it, I didn't mean like that Butters. You just gotta be careful, it's been a while since you've seen him."

"So it's not wrong?" I asked.

Bebe shook her head, "You know what this is probably one of the fatass' games anyways. He hasn't messed with you lately, and Kenny would do anything for a buck."

I nodded, agreeing with her.

Yeah, that was it. Just another stupid Cartman game.

But something in Bebe's eyes told me different.

She was hiding something, though, she was still smiling.

Bebe looked over my shoulder and narrowed her eyes.

"He's still staring at you," she said, voice harsh as she turned her attention back to me.

"What ever you do don't lo-"

I couldn't help it as I felt my head turn looking for...

BBBBRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNGGG!!!!

Second period wasn't that bad. Sure, it was history but I had the privilege of sitting in between Wendy and Heidi. Normally, I would have enjoyed all the gossip being passed between the two. But today was different, I sat there the entire period just replaying first hour over and over again in my head.

Thankfully though with Wendy having recently broken up with Cartman, neither girl seemed interested in the fact that Kenny's eyes were practically glued to me earlier.

A fact, I would have squealed about, a few years earlier.

No, the more I thought about it the more convinced I became that this was just one of Cartman's silly games.

But, I was starting to become less and less sure of myself by the time lunch rolled around.

Bebe was missing during lunch, along with Token which left me with only one conclusion, they were "getting to know each other."

It wasn't as if I missed her during lunch, I saw her everyday. But I wanted to talk to her about what had happened in first period. With her missing I turned to Heidi for guidance.

Big mistake.

I had carelessly forgotten that Heidi was still pissed at Kenny for cheating on her with Porscha. After 20 minutes of her cursing his name and my apologies, she finally gave me her advice.

Maybe it really was a game between both Cartman and Kenny.

"Look Butters think about it, Cartman needs someone to take his anger out on since Wendy dumped him," she said looking across the lunch room, where Wendy and Gregory sat cuddling.

Turning back to me she continued, "And Kenny has always had it out for you ever since you came out to everybody. Always trying to find ways to rub it in your face that he doesn't want anything to do with you. So why is it so hard to believe that they would get together and make you think that he likes you, just so he could shoot you down again."

I sat there, mouth hanging open.

It hurt to hear her say those things, but it made perfect sense.

Third period was none other than math, Pre-college Algebra to be precise.

The class was filled with South Park's wiz-kids.

Kyle, Wendy, Gregory, Token, and Milly.

Then, there was me and Tweek, how we got put into that class I'll ever know.

Tweek struggled to even hold his pencil, let alone write down the equations we had to do.

Anger took over and I swore at Kenny in my mind. I should have expected something like this from Cartman, so I couldn't really blame him.

But Kenny, over all these years I had defended him. Saying he really was a good person who was just scared that a _guy_ liked him.

I had never felt so betrayed in my life.

My day didn't get any better when Milly began talking about how cute Kenny was. That he had flashed her the famous "Kenny Grin," and how he had been showing off to her earlier this morning.

With my face bright as a tomato and my anger near it's boiling point. I did the only sane thing I could think of to calm myself down.

Pictured Cartman naked.

I may have died a little inside, but it was worth it.

I was able to get through the class with my work done, and had actually been able to keep myself from throwing up the hamburger I had for lunch.

There was no way I would fall for Kenny McCormick's dirty little trick. I was finished with him.

Clyde met up with me and Tweek in the hall, on our way to P.E.

He was grinning like a fool. His happiness had always been infectious.

"What?" I asked grinning back.

"I just got an A in Chemistry for my project!"

"That's great!" I patted him on the back as congratulations.

"So, what about the three classes you missed for that? What if you fail now because you missed them?!" Tweek asked, sipping from his thermos.

Clyde frowned, "Man Tweek, why do you have to be such a party pooper?"

"HEY!" a familiar voice called out.

I looked back to see Craig jogging up the hallway.

Catching up to us, "Don't diss my Tweekers," Craig said, roughly wrapping his arm around Clyde's neck.

In return, Clyde playfully shoved Craig into the wall.

"GAH! They're gonna kill each other!" Tweek called out.

I tried not to laugh, Tweek was just so darn cute though. He would never fail to call out the possibility of death for Clyde and Craig, even though they did this just about every day.

Gently, I set my hand on Tweek's shoulder, "It's gonna be ok Tweek. I'm sure they won't kill each other."

"CHRIST!" he called out again.

I looked over just in time to see Craig shove Clyde into the locker room door. The door swung inward forcing the boys to fall into the locker room, Craig straddling Clyde.

Craig drew the line there.

He stood and walked back to Tweek then escorted him into the locker room, stepping over Clyde.

Sure, he and his best friend wrestled like that on a daily basis. But if they happened to end up in a position like they had, it immediately ended.

I could understand though, Craig had to be careful. If he and Clyde continued to wrestle who knows what sort of rumor would start or what Tweek would come up with in his paranoid mind.

Holding out my hand, Clyde grabbed a hold of it and pulled himself up.

"Thanks," he grinned. "I so won that one."

Whenever Craig would suddenly pull away from their little game Clyde claimed himself winner. Seeing as how in normal circumstances he couldn't beat Craig.

It was a short walk to my locker, towards the back exit and Clyde was just a few lockers away from me. I couldn't help but watch Clyde from the corner of my eye as he changed into his shorts.

Something, he would surely kill me for if he ever noticed.

Sighing, I concentrated on getting myself dressed then paused when I got to my hair. It was required that all students with long hair have it pulled back in someway.

"Pigtails."

I looked over at a dressed Clyde staring at me, a smile on his face.

"Yeah that'd be cute," Craig glanced at me as he walked down the aisle.

His arm wrapped gently across Tweek's shoulders. Clyde nodded as he started to follow the couple.

He waved, "Hey Butters, I'll meet you in the gym!"

"Ok Clyde!" I called back, almost done with my hair.

I shut my locker and stepped out into the aisle, heading for the gym. I was cut off as Kenny suddenly came out from around the corner, almost running straight into me.

"O-oh well hey there Kenny," I said quietly, unsure of what to say.

He just stood there with his hoodie unzipped, exposing his tight white t-shirt.

No, I thought to myself.

I'm finished with him.

Kenny's reply really wasn't much of a reply, all that came out was some gurgling. Then he stood there frozen, just staring at me. To say the least, it was a little uncomfortable to be there face to face.

I asked the only thing I could think of, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible.

"Uh Kenny are you alright?"

"I uh guh," was the only reply.

Suddenly, he turned _SMACK_ right into a row of lockers. Instantly, I felt my hands clamp over my mouth as he fell to the floor.

**--**

OMG I am soooo sorry for making you guys wait so long. It's just that school has been crazy and my creative writing class has been too. So I've been pretty much consumed by that assignment lately.

So again a thousand apologies for making you wait forever. I'll post the next chapter of "A Golden Opportunity" as soon as possible.

I love you all and thanks for watching and all the reviews.

**Cassandra Phoenix**


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